pain in the rain

dear minions,

it is with abject regret that i must inform you the season is over.  essentially, we've been rained out of 2011 softball.  neither this week's rain out nor the one earlier in the season will be rescheduled.  black betty wanted no part of our game this season.  i don't blame them.

playoffs start next week.  though the schedule has not been posted, trust that pete's will not be included.  there are a number of frustrating factors that contributed to missing the playoffs, rain outs aside.  we wound up on the wrong side of too many one run games.  it's a growing pain in becoming a mature team that's as smart as it's strong and able.  i'm really excited about next season already - you've inspired me.

i'm absolutely positive an end of the year party will be arranged either this coming or the following sunday.  i like the idea of having it at my home or at the bar before the playoffs but i'm open to suggestions (please don't turn this into a team uniform thread) that seems to be a semi-tradition of ours.  showing up for the championships well fed and a little tipsy makes for less bitter viewing.

alright, thanks for an exciting season, everyone.  i wouldn't trade any of you . . .

xo,

the big picture

well, team, what can i say that wouldn't be offensive and degrading?  hmm, if i only use prepositions, i might be able to avoid hurting anyone's feelings but then it would be very difficult to express anything of meaning.  how about i just take a look at dom saying good-bye last sunday for a bit and see how i feel then.

"i'll talk to you later, dom.  take care."

i, for one, feel much better.

alright, we have one job to do this week and that's to beat black betty, which will be extremely fun; so, you could say that our one job is to have fun . . . but i'm not going to say that.  i'm saying our one job is to beat black betty.  now, go get 'em!




xo,

don't look back

let me just say that i've had more fun playing and coaching this season than any previous year.  you're all party to a really interesting and talented softball family.  aside from our record, we're the envy of the league.  fine:  aside from our uniforms, we're the envy of the league.  alright!  aside from the coach we're the envy of the league.  there.  happy now?

be that as it may, we're played our way to a pretty muddy road to slog.   we can do it but it's going to take some sacrifice, grit and heart.  personal egos will have to take a back seat to the team but you're still going to need to be confident as an individual.  we're not out of it by any measure . . . unless you choose to give up and if you make that choice, know that pete's will get along just fine without you.

easily, the worst part of coaching is working with the incompetents.  after that, not knowing who is coming to a game is a major suck-fest.  we should be okay with girls this week but i spent way too much time scrambling to find a fill-in this week.  it's really not hard to tell me if you're coming or not - that goes for the boys and the girls.


alright, we're starting to hit the ball hard.  now we have to hit it where they ain't!  runner on second and third must come home.  they get lost out there and i worry about them.  let's get them home safe and sound.


next up - the mendoza line.  we beat them early but that was a long time ago.  they can bash the ball but they can get pretty sloppy in the field.  everyone's gonna score!


xo,

home stretch

hello,

don't know why i didn't post that last bit when i wrote it after the past game, but there it is.  i didn't edit one letter.  can't recall why it ends with "scant."

you ever ride out the affects of a hard drug cocktail, sitting in a london transport station?  me too.  anyway, the important thing is to not look desperate.  easy prey for all is what you are.  it's easy to look desperate when you're sweating and you know, the drugs and the station aren't really the point - the point is that desperate is a bad look.  hopefully, beating clem's shook the desperation from our game faces.

having said that, we need to win the rest of our games to make the playoffs.  no pressure.  stay loose.  it's going to be a challenging run but i know we can do it.  with max and ed healthy and abbott and ian just showing up, we're in a great position to give any and everyone a run for their money.

it all starts this sunday at eleven on field one against the r bar.  let's do it for dom!

xo,

worst rally ever

i'm not worried.  are you worried?  don't be.  it's not like anything matters, anyway - not the little things, not the big things, not your friends or foes . . . not even the delinquent money your teammates owe for dues and shirts.  it's cool.  everything will be washed into oblivion when our common star explodes.  there will be no trace of love or loss, success or failure, effort or indifference.  in essence, dualism will take a heavy hit.

there, doesn't that make everything feel better?

you know, my keyboard works just fine, except for the question mark key, which doesn't work at all.  purchasing a new keyboard seems like the thing to do but buying a new one for this old machine would be like installing spinning rims on a wheelchair.  i have to google "question mark," copy the wiki version of it and paste it whenever a question seems appropriate . . . doesn't that make everything feel better?

my point is that there is no point.  still, i should get a new c[mp9tr or at least a k3yBpard - it would improve my life in both a practical and superficial way.  similarly, winning would make our lives better on some stratum that flies in the face of . . . not losing.


quit playing like you're afraid of losing.  play like losing isn't an option.  scant

player profile: !AN

[editors note:  in lieu of allowing the coach to revisit the game on july 10th in the year 2011, which was nothing short of a fucking shit parade, a new segment is being introduced.  these pieces will focus on the individual members of team pcs and will be written in a tone usually reserved for water color paintings of butterflies and viral cat videos.]

ian hits the ball really hard and it usually goes right up the middle for a base hit.  when he hits the ball people say to each other (aloud) and themselves (quietly in the brain), "wow - that was a line drive."  but he doesn't just hit the ball really hard.  he's super fast!  just like the wind and jose reyes (that's his favorite baseball player).  so, by now you know ian is a fast runner and a hard hitter (yeah!) but did you know he plays the guitar, is big with the ladies and likes birds?  all true.  the mayor even named the hawks in mccarren park after him - just kidding - lol.  simply put - ian would be first on any alphabetized list, if the first letter of the alphabet was "i" . . . and this team just so happens to use an alphabet where "i" is the first letter.  yep, ian's #1 on this team!


let's give it up for IAN!!!  yay!

mid-day, mid-week, mid-season, mid-homonym

orangiers!

it's over.  it's almost over.  don't you shits quit on me.  there are few games left, not many.  you don't understand.  it's okay:  i understand and have a way of communicating nebulous concepts like winning to those predisposed to losing.  it's almost over but not quite.  i'll explain.

quit losing.  it's a bad fit for winning and something altogether inconsistent with the point of sport.  ahh!  abbott just figured this out.  the point of sport is to lose as infrequently as possible.  not losing at all would be ideal.  this winning thing doesn't sound so abstract now, does it?

listen, we've got six games left.  don't blow any of them, okay?  this win one/lose one crap is playing you right out of the playoffs.  to be honest, i didn't think we'd win more than three games the entire year but if we don't win four more you might as have lost them all.  ten wins is the minimum for making the playoffs.

starting this sunday with our game against the turkey's teachers, let's win four straight, spend a week at the beach and have a tune-up the week before the playoffs . . .

everyone gonna be there on sunday?  let me know.

xo,

winning has a higher value than losing

well, team, i hope you enjoyed the relative ease with which we won last sunday because this week is going to be a real trial.  we'll all be taking the stand as witnesses to our own deeds, mighty fine deeds.  okay, since we're talking all legal and stuff, i would be committing perjury to let the record stand as we'll all be taking the stand:  ed and lynch will be sequestered for the day.  that's fine - a few of you will have break-out games to cover the void.  i can feel it but, more importantly, you have to feel it.

this will not be the same a/t team we faced in week one.  they've collected a few exceptional talents out there on the left side of the in-and-out-field.  they have beat some big names since we last saw them, i.e., betty, rbar, the yankees.  anyway, don't take this game for granted.  that would be folly and, honestly, not our style at all, not at all.

please let me know if you can't make the game.

hardly any of you owe me monies for shirts and dues . . .

see y'all soon.

yours,

this week: we're doing work.

dear losers,

did you have fun wearing spike hill's "scarlet" letter all week?  assholes.  i should have sewn a black "S" on the hats i didn't buy you.  shit:  i guess you did deserve hats . . . if only to wear the mark of a loser.

i really hope you didn't leave that game feeling upbeat about playing run for run with a great team.  they are a great team and they did complement you . . . but that doesn't give us a win, a play-off birth or get us closer to the goal of winning it all.  listen, shitheads, i had my doubts, but your play refuses to suggest anything other than that of a winner.

it's time you start playing like a front runner.  that's what you are.  why fight it?  why pretend you're sneaking up on teams?  you're not.  when you lose, you've been upset . . . act like it.

obviously, second chance has a bull's eye aimed at your head.  beating you would make their year.  please disappoint them.  they deserve at least that much.  in case you don't know, they kicked abbott off their team a few years ago for being "different."  years of therapy and drinking haven't resolved the loss matt still feels for being dumped, but beating the shit out of his former keeper makes him whole for a day.

do it for abbott!!!!

always,

updated stats . . . and mood. hoo-rah.

you know, team, there are a bunch of photographers amongst you.  no, i'm not trying to encourage anyone to embrace their creative side.  i'm saying that most of you own a camera and a few of you make a living taking pictures and because of this i would like to see some candid pictures of our team sent to me for posting purposes.  would bounties help motivate any of you?  what if pictures of infielders picking their nose were worth $20 (abbott's only worth $5), photos of dom palming the crack of his ass - $2.50 and images of me trying to lose the game are worth a nickle.  the price disparity is due to how common each of these poses are.  regardless, i'd like to see a few pictures of our next game, which is against the best team in the league - spike hill - better known as the craig's list killers.

thinking back to last sunday, i'm lamenting that their aren't any iconic images of joey taking ball four to force in a run for me to look at with mirthful pride.  or maybe a five second video clip of ian's third bloop single, which drove in the winning run, would make nice viewing.  whatever - i'm sure you all have your favorite moments.

alright, every game is a big one but this one . . . this game will tell us where we are.  i think we can play with anyone but that's not the same as beating everyone.  i'm already excited to find out.

great game everyone.  if ever there was a team win, beating good company was an exemplary example.

take care,